May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
