Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
