If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
