I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
