Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
