On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
