apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
