i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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