wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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