New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
