i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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