There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
where does the pee come out of this thing
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
