My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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