In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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