the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Randomize
