If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Less talking, more tequila
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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