I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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