I should be sponsored by Trojan
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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