Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize