Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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