Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
