Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
