Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
