I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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