It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
