You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
