Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
