I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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