man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
