I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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