if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
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when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
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she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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