when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
