Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
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Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
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who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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