Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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