why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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