we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Send help, water and tortillas.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
