Pants 0. Shit 1.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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