Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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