Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
