Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
