I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She bit a glass in half.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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