kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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