Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
