how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I don't deserve a penis
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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