I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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