puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
3 2 1 whiskey
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
