I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize