girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
