$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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