508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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