The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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