i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
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My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
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I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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