i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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