Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
