wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
