you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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