yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm jealous of your bromance
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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