I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
In theory, it seemed like it would work.