I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT