It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
