I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
