You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize