I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
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