Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
